“promised 2+2=5. delivered a recurring 30-minute sync.”
the plot
a one-pager. nine graves. that's the whole product.
you screenshot it. you send it to the person who keeps saying synergy. you become slightly famous in your group chat. there is nothing to install, nothing to learn, and nothing to leverage.
the grounds
the dearly departed
each one earned its plot. tap a stone, read the epitaph, pour one out.
“it meant use. it always meant use.”
“the AI was a button. the power was the marketing budget.”
“sometimes earned the name. sometimes just the advice of the people billing by the day.”
“five years. a flatter logo. the org chart, unmoved.”
“automation. now with a prefix and a line item.”
“three things you didn't want, one price you couldn't escape.”
“a slow database that hated you back. survived by a Discord.”
“same company. new font. the font cost $400k.”
last rites
how to bury a buzzword in three steps
get the one-pager
free. one tap. no funnel, no “quick call,” no nurture sequence. a PDF and your dignity.
screenshot a grave
pick the headstone that matches your last meeting. you'll know the one. it's already on the tip of your eye-roll.
send it to the synergy person
drop it in the group chat. say nothing. become quietly, permanently famous among people who hate the word too.
dig a fresh plot
bury your own buzzword
got one we missed? type it in. we'll carve the stone. screenshot it — that part's on you.
liked your handiwork? the real nine are funnier, and free. ↓
pay your respects
name your price. zero is fine.
the graveyard is free and always will be. but if a headstone made you laugh in a meeting you couldn't laugh in — you can leave flowers.
liked the funeral? read the autopsy.
the nine words above are the easy ones. the full book buries the confusion itself — cloud and AI explained like a friend two drinks in who actually knows her stuff. “Decoded by Zara” · $9.